


I Know That It Hurts

by I_Dream_Of_Camaros



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anger, Angst and Feels, Crying, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 05:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10914867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Dream_Of_Camaros/pseuds/I_Dream_Of_Camaros
Summary: Erskine  Ravel doesn't understand love. Ghastly Bespoke understands love just a little too well.





	I Know That It Hurts

Ghastly awoke to the sound of something falling to the ground. He sat up quickly and relaxed when he saw it was just Erskine.

He pulled the silk sheets up around him and let out a breath.

"You scared me." He said, softly.

Erskine glanced up. "Sorry."

It wasn't even light out yet. Ghastly studied Erskine with concern. His voice lacked the normal teasing luster, his eyes were full with bags around them, and bottles pooled around his feet. A bowl of rice was sitting on the table and Erskine was gripping another bottle. His naked body shivered in the cool air of the hotel. 

"Erskine? Are you alright?" Ghastly asked.

"How do you do it?" Erskine asked, glancing up.

"Do what?" Ghastly replied.

"Be so...so goddamned okay with this? Every spare night we do this. Ravish each other till we physically hurt. You don't say my name. Never. Because I know you don't care. We use each other, Ghastly. We hurt and break each other. What for? To get some release? To....hurt something? Someone?"

Ghastly was slightly taken back by the outburst. "Erskine...You're drunk and upset." He said calmly.

"Of course I am! I....I'm not upset though. I'm angry, Ghastly. Years. Years I have wanted this. I admired you always. And...I had to see you love someone else. Everyone always had someone else. Larrikin had Anton. Skulduggery had his wife. Hopeless was lucky. He didn't need anyone. And we all know that Rue and Vex are still fucking each other. You always had some girl. Even now. In bed, you say her name. Tanith. Tanith. You can't save her. She's not Tanith Low anynore." Erskine snapped.

Ghastly winced. That had stung. 

"I tried to console in Skulduggery. When he was still flesh and blood. He told me I was sick. Sick for wanting you. Sick. Sick. And you know what? He's right. I'm sick for wanting men. Sick for wanting you. Sick for trying to replace you. Sick...I'm sick." Erskine blundered.

Ghastly kicked the blankets away and got to his feet. He gently wrapped his arms around Erskine, a hand Stirling the younger man's tangled locks.

"You're not sick, Erskine." He said softly.

"Yes. Yes I am. I tried to...to kill myself. You know? Thought if I died you might feel guilty. Didn't work. Anton found me. Saved me.....I hated myself back then and I still do now. Because I don't get it. What's the point of love? Love. I hate love." He rambled.

Ghastly felt his heart shattered. He didn't know that Erskine had felt that way..All these years. Anton had never mentioned anything at all. He focused back of the sobbing man in his arm.

"Erskine. Come back to bed. You need to sleep." He said gently. 

He tugged the other man to the bed and Erskine didn't protest. He let Ghastly tuck him in then sit on the edge of the bed. Ghastly gently stroked the side of Erskine's tear stained cheek.

"Erskine....I love you. I do. I just....There are so many...... Complexities." Ghastly said.

"You love her." Erskine croaked.

Ghastly nodded. "I do. But...As much as I hate to admit it. I can't save her."

"So I'm just a second choice." Erskine whispered.

Ghastly shook his head and kissed Erskine.

"You've always been my first choice."

**Author's Note:**

> I hurt myself by writing this. Also, AngryDrunk!Erskine is amazing. WHY DON'T MORE PEOPLE SHIP ERSKINE AND GHASTLY? 
> 
> They need a ship name. Beval? Ravspoke? Ghakine? 
> 
> Yes. I am in denial about Erskine betraying everyone. I'm also in denial about Ghastly dying. And the fact that Solomon Wreath didn't have a better character arch. And so many other things.


End file.
